River Road Run

Did a 45min run up and down the River Road from the Fogarty House. I set out right as the sun was setting behind the Green Mountains; it was in my face on the run down towards the river, but lit up the White Mountains on the way back, giving me a spectacular view for the tougher (uphill) return leg. The hills are easier than the last time I ran here, and gave me a little confidence boost for next Sunday. I've been worried that the little rise in W Fairmount park might be difficult since most of my training has been flat, or even on a treadmill, but I felt strong today on hills much larger than the ones I'll do Sunday week.

Being here is both wonderful and difficult. We all sat around and listened to some tapes that Lolo made for NH NPR about summers on Stinson lake. My favorite, 'Mahler and macaroni', was written by Lola and describes the annual Congo (that's Congregationalist) summer cookout over in Orford. It really gave the sense of the pace of life up here in the North country during the summer and made me feel connected to these places and people all over again. What's difficult is that everything reminds me of that cold day from two Julys ago: our last run together up Rt 10, sleeping in the same dormer room bed where we sat and I--feeling empty and 'dead', and crazy and manic and frantic at the same time--pushed her away, the same note she wrote about 'stealing away like a thief in the night' saved by Lola, for some reason, and staring at me from the fridge whenever I go into the kitchen. Being here feels like time stopped, and it's the day after all over again. I guess the good thing is that time did not stop; so even though I feel sadness and even regret about those days, I also feel whole and alive and at peace.